If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
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