you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
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The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
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Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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