I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
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He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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