I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize