Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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