Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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