operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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