I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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