I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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