Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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