I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize