OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
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