i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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