I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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