birth control should be required to get into college
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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