I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
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We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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