dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize