He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize