The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to summon your inner elephant
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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