if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
is it fun? or sober?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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