all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize