how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
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No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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