I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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