my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
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I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
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Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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