guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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