Pants 0. Shit 1.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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