I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize