you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize