Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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