Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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