You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
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it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
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I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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