there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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