We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
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So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
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I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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