come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize