I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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