im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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