I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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