My first STD was from a foam party
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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