Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (+44): View more from England

  if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed

  (+44): View more from England

  keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed (+44): keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction http://tfl.nu/lbnu
  Replies (18) Good night (4469) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs. http://tfl.nu/67s4
  Replies (57) Good night (20730) Bad night (1313) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it? http://tfl.nu/v9cq
  Replies (21) Good night (2861) Bad night (1267) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that" (1-630): Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere. http://tfl.nu/8i7j
  Replies (11) Good night (883) Bad night (2577)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends. http://tfl.nu/1qj3
  Replies (39) Good night (1551) Bad night (3931) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.

  (1-417): View more from Missouri

  That's because you are an idiot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot. (1-417): That's because you are an idiot. http://tfl.nu/6gwl
  Replies (17) Good night (1582) Bad night (4707)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm. http://tfl.nu/i6hi
  Replies (12) Good night (2536) Bad night (1126) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life http://tfl.nu/iybt
  Replies (13) Good night (1324) Bad night (2969) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway

  (925): View more from California

  I hate that you know that from experience

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway (925): I hate that you know that from experience http://tfl.nu/zmuh
  Replies (11) Good night (1174) Bad night (2221)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here http://tfl.nu/mwmy
  Replies (5) Good night (1538) Bad night (593) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier. http://tfl.nu/icz2
  Replies (9) Good night (3548) Bad night (929) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius! http://tfl.nu/013j
  Replies (6) Good night (707) Bad night (1381) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack. http://tfl.nu/jydf
  Replies (6) Good night (2432) Bad night (386) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax? http://tfl.nu/2c3b
  Replies (10) Good night (698) Bad night (257) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high. http://tfl.nu/qikm
  Replies (2) Good night (936) Bad night (248) Order T-Shirt

Randomize