How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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