Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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