And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize