I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize