I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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