Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick

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  (973): oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick http://tfl.nu/qy0n
  Replies (21) Good night (1651) Bad night (391) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.

  (1-765): View more from Indiana

  Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.

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  (765): It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt. (1-765): Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead. http://tfl.nu/kzx4
  Replies (50) Good night (1996) Bad night (1269)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?

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  (502): It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it? http://tfl.nu/bh2w
  Replies (13) Good night (465) Bad night (4202) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know

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  (416): I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know http://tfl.nu/hsw7
  Replies (2) Good night (618) Bad night (2310) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.

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  (978): benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are. http://tfl.nu/ifpr
  Replies (4) Good night (4824) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.

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  (201): kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success. http://tfl.nu/o0d4
  Replies (44) Good night (6586) Bad night (1676) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...

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  (843): Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks.... (843): I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one... http://tfl.nu/xuml
  Replies (12) Good night (3869) Bad night (706)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.

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  (402): I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange. http://tfl.nu/kq15
  Replies (3) Good night (3239) Bad night (1075) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned

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  (714): considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned http://tfl.nu/7fpn
  Replies (3) Good night (3258) Bad night (765) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?

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  (207): well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work? http://tfl.nu/5z5c
  Replies (10) Good night (3062) Bad night (787) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?

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  (678): Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon? http://tfl.nu/v3dn
  Replies (6) Good night (2196) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.

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  (704): Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now. http://tfl.nu/n39e
  Replies (4) Good night (672) Bad night (1230) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.

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  (215): the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul. http://tfl.nu/vout
  Replies (11) Good night (1664) Bad night (644) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.

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  (615): There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%. http://tfl.nu/531s
  Replies (3) Good night (675) Bad night (203)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me

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  (218): Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me http://tfl.nu/p7wy
  Replies (2) Good night (728) Bad night (157) Order T-Shirt

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