you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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