what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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