My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Plan B is the new Plan A
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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