sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize