So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize